For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge

You're damn right. Welcome to VM where I will be making fun of all my favorite narcissists and with a little help from my jerky friends, I'll be calling out some of the lesser known assholes as well. And first on the list...I examine my own damn self. Yeah, I'm egocentric.

I'm not sure any of us can really help it. But sometimes (often) there are such extreme cases of this kind of narcissism, it can actually cause death as much as it causes idiots to breed (see, that's me being judgemental and self-centered). I really think some of these ridiculous armchair philosophers need to be shown the negative attention they deserve and me, being the conceited dick that I am, will do just that.

Me first. Ha...get it?

I fucking curse. I do it quite frequently and am accustomed to being glared down at the Costco for saying things like, "I can't fucking believe they sell hot dogs for $1!" or "That is a fucking huge ass TV," or "What the fuck does he think he's doing? Is he gonna fucking cut line?"

I am honestly trying to cut down, not because it offends people (which oddly enough, it's not as offensive as it once was), but because the more I use it, the less effective it becomes. When I say the word, "Fuck!" I really want people to be taken aback. If I break my ankle and yell, "darnit!" not that many people are going to come-a-runnin' to my aid. The shock value was pretty much the whole reason for using it in the first place. The word, when used infrequently enough, can really project a point onto unsuspecting ears.

I find it humorous just because of the whole meaning of the thing (that's right, it is actually still JUST a word...not a gun, knife or threat to your family - it's a word which allows you, the offended, the leisure, nay, the RIGHT to be vocally self-righteous in a public situation. That really is a fun thing to do sometimes). This one little word (f.u.c.k. = for unlawful carnal knowledge) has wreaked havoc all over the west, especially the US where it is perceived to be the most cursed word in the world.

Either way, I like the taboo and the joy I receive by punctuating a thought with "fuck." Try it sometime. Say something, anything, but use the word, "fuck." Go ahead! It easily interjects into just about any statement. Here are a few examples:

"I fucking miss you so much."
"Fuck, you're the best!"
"Why don't you sit the fuck down and take a fucking load off?"
"Would you like something to drink, fucker?"
"This fucking orange juice is tasty as fuck."

You get the picture. Now you try!

First image that popped up when Google Imaged, "fuck."